The best part about being Kenny Powers is being Kenny Powers

Archetypes

Deep patterns of psychic functioning—that shape our behavior, values, & creativity. Patterns of energy shared by people. Roots of the soul governing perspectives we have about ourselves and the world. Emotionally possessive effect—bedazzling our consciousness. Connected with our experience of human development across the lifespan—from age to age since the beginning of human beings. How we experience the constants of being human—birth, death, love, sex, childbirth, parenting, illness, joy, sorrow. Organized into clusters or constellations—that take in a host of events from different parts of life.

Worry.Free

Leaning out as far as she can, hoping she'll fall soon, so she can stop worrying about whether it will happen or not.

Why Is There A Dead Pakistani On My Couch?

Notes and Reflections on Lost 5.1
(disclaimer: some of these have been expounded upon ideas and notes from the darkufo blog)

• Obviously Mrs. Hawkings is Daniel's mother

• Desmond's purpose is to be the messenger between the times


• Ben Linus, obviously, is as sinister, entertaining, and badass as ever


• Miles is Marvin Candle's son (stolen from the threads)


• Farraday was with the Dharma Initiative in the 70's, apparently the same age as he is in the present, which would lend support to the theory that the people are moving through time NOT the island. If the island moved back and forth through time, the people would be aging accordingly


• When Ben lists the people needed to go back and save the Losties, he only mentions Sun, Sayid, Hurley, Kate, Jack & Locke--not Aaron


• Apparently the "Others" are not moving through time with the Losties, and are oblivious to the blinding light that immediately precedes time warps.


• I disagree with the overwhelmingly popular theory that Ben sent the attorneys to take Aaron from Kate--I think Sun did. She is going to force Kate to experience the same pain and loss that she experienced when she lost Jin. This evilness ironically makes me like Sun a lot more. Whether it was Ben or Sun's doing, the possibility of losing Aaron will motivate Kate into going somewhere (i.e., the Island) that Aaron can't be taken from her.


• Continuing with my Sun theory-- I don't think she's teaming with Widmore to hurt Ben, I think she wants to use his power to hurt Kate.


• I think time can, in fact, be changed. I haven't fully thought this out yet, but I think one of the "rules" is that you're not supposed to change the past. Hence, when Keamy shot Alex, Ben said Widmore broke the rule. But if time cannot be changed, why is Alpert giving Locke specific instructions to get the Oceanic 6 back to the island, leading you to think they were never supposed to have left in the first place. Locke has to change the course of history, and die in process. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.


• Desmond can also change the past. He saved Charlie, and he's going to save everyone by going to see Farraday in the future. As noted on darkufo, Desmond seemed to gain the ability to alter past events when he turned the failsafe key in the hatch and was jolted through time. Somehow, the rules no longer apply to him.


• I still am majorly annoyed by Locke. Hurley too. I'm trying to warm up to them, but they're annoying. There, I said it.

Questions that arose (or remain):

• How does Jacob fit into all this? If Ben and Hawkings are working to fix the "time skipping" problem on the island, then what is Jacob's agenda?


• What's the story behind Farraday working with the original Dharma crew?


• What's in Ben's mystery box hidden in the air duct?


• Who is Jill?


• Is Locke really dead, and why do they call him Bentham?


• Why has Sayid turned on Ben?

Can't Hardly Wait

7 Days Until Ben Linus Returns and Makes Life Worth Living Again

Benjamin Linus
Michael Emerson

BEFORE THE CRASH:

The leader of the Others
Ordered Goodwin and Ethan to infiltrate the survivor camps for information
See how he's connected.

ON THE ISLAND:
-Captured by Rousseau and believed to be an Other
-Turned over to Sayid, who held him prisoner in the Swan station
-Claimed to be Henry Gale from Minnesota and crashed on the island four months ago with his wife; told Sayid his wife died after getting sick
-Sayid did not believe him and savagely beat him to get the truth
-Drew a map to his balloon and wife's grave for Ana Lucia
-Implied that if he were an Other, the map would lead Ana Lucia to a trap and his people would capture her
-Helped Locke get out from under the blast doors
-Claimed to have entered the code into the computer
-Confronted by Sayid and Ana Lucia with the truth: they found his balloon but the grave contained the body of the real Henry Gale
-Claimed that the real Henry Gale's neck was broken when his body was found
-Sayid revealed a note scrawled on a $20 bill that Henry Gale had written to his wife; he wasn't dead when he was found
-Tried to choke and kill Ana Lucia; told her the two Others she killed were good people
-Set free by Michael after Michael killed Ana Lucia and Libby and shot himself in the shoulder to make it appear like Henry Gale did it
-Revealed to be the leader of the Others
-Told Michael the Others are the good guys
-Held Jack, Kate and Sawyer prisoners and took them away
-Revealed to Jack the Others can leave the island.
-Offered to take Jack home if Jack does what Ben wants

Stream of Consciousness

I'm disappointed with my last post, about my "favorite things." Upon considering, I realized that plastic, battery-operated, soon-to-be-outdated gadgets did not define my happiness whatsoever this year. Nor do they truly represent what I consider to be my "favorite" parts of my little world. So let's start over. Let's pretend I never wrote that silly, materialistic wish-list.


2008 was a strange, sad, yet beautiful year. So many changes, yet I catch myself at times angrily realizing that not much has changed at all.

As all reflections should, let's start from the beginning...


I spent the Christmas season of '07 in bed, unable to realize and accept that my life was forever changed because I'd exposed my stepfather for what he truly is. I'd lost my church, half of my family, and I'd watched helplessly as the hearts of my mother and sister were shattered beyond immediate repair. Rightfully or not, I decided to spend the last remaining days of this disgusting year buried under the covers, helplessly waiting for it to end.


2008 began with a fervent, almost desperate, declaration that the new year would make up for everything wrong and sad in 2007. I was determined not to let my parent's divorce, and resulting aftermath, darken the bright and shining promises that this new year offered. Silly me. In the beginning, all went according to plan-- I was seeing a wonderful therapist, who literally brought me back to life, my beautiful Eric proposed, and I began to plan our new life (how ironic that my old life had so abruptly ended).


My bio-dad and I were actually establishing a consistent, albeit dysfunctional, relationship. As much as he could, he really proved to be a good "father" this year, and it was comforting to have some sort of male figure (besides Eric) to turn to in the wake of the divorce. I could've done without the confession of his coke habit and he and his "girlfriend's" rendevous. But, he is who he is, and the man honestly loves me, which is more than I can say for the other one.

Early Spring was a bit rough. The divorce was finalized, and the long, bitter and unfair war of the division of assets began. It is very hard for me to comprehend why a man who has caused so much damage and destruction can actually lay claim to anything once shared with the people he has hurt. Mark has continued to be exposed for what he truly is, and his lies have been excruciating, infuriating, and other "-ing" words that express betrayal and greed. He has not made any steps whatsoever toward rehabilitation, he refuses to take the steps that would even begin building a bridge back to Lilly. More than anything else, the pain he has caused in Lilly is the hardest to witness and endure. Watching my baby sister suffer and feel so alone has been heartbreaking. She has been abandoned and betrayed by the one she was closest to. I want to carry her in my pocket at all times to make sure she is safe and whole. I don't think any of us will ever be whole. I used to hope, but he took that hope away with his greed and lies.

I'm not as hurt by the ties cut by my grandparents. They believe what they need to believe so they can make it through the day, and if his lies keep them alive, so be it. However, the blame they place on my mother is appalling to say the least. Again, I am sad for Lilly. She related to the Van Dyk's way more than my mom's side of the family, and she's lost them, too. And yet, he will not take responsibility, even for the sake of his only child.

In October I applied, and was ultimately admitted to, graduate school. Through my journey with my therapist, I realized a personal desire for helping others through their journey. In January, I begin a three year Masters program to become a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). It is exhilirating, and also a huge relief to finally have made the decision to go back to school, and to have realized what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don't feel so....aimless, anymore.

December. If only 2008 had ended November 30. I would be able to honestly declare the year a success. I'd survived, I felt stronger, healthier, clearer... until December.

My very close friend, Amy Grace, lost her fiance (and also my friend), Andrew. He was 23. Andrew.just.died. A seemingly healthy young man reached a temperature of 109 and just died. Amy and Andrew were together since her Sophomore year of high school. He would visit her in York often, and the three of us would spend weekends and school breaks at home laughing til we hurt, and making memories that I will never let go of. Andrew proposed to Amy on September 27, 2008, exactly one year before Eric and I will marry. I felt (and sometimes continue to feel) guilty that she should suffer the loss of her beloved, while I plan my fairy tale. It hurts my heart to think of beautiful Amy and the pain she must be going through.

December worsened with the reckless death of my twelve-year old cousin's mother. The first firefighter in her company to be killed in the line of duty in over 100 years, Michelle would've been 30 this past Monday. Selfishly, I haven't let my heart or mind even begin to process her death, and what it will do to her daughter.

God has given me the strength to handle very much in my seemingly short 24 years on Earth. He has brought me comfort in the worst of times, and I've felt His presence and love in my loneliest days. I do not understand, and have (very humanly) gotten angry over the young lives He's claimed in the past month. But I cannot stop believing that there is a method to all this madness, and a reason behind His will.

My faith is the one precious thing that has endured and given me strength, from when I was a small child being taken advantage of by a monster, through the confusion and feelings of helplessness that monster brought, through the divorce, to today, as the door closes on another year that has brought me to my knees and has shaken me to the core.

My God will mercifully bring me through, and bring Lilly through, and bring Amy through, and bring Michelle's daughter through, the darkness. My prayer for 2009 is that the year will finally expose the light I've been searching for through the dark tunnels of the previous two years.

I did not intend to begin this stream of consiousness, if you want to call it that, as a way to express my faith or gratitude toward God. My faith is something I tend to keep close and personal, not wanting it tainted or exposed to the jaded opinions of others. But in these dreary and gray days, as America is slowly falling to its knees, and we turn to a new president to bring us back into the light, I think it is also time to turn back to God, with hope that He too, will bring back the light.

So, in the spirit of new beginnings and a heart full of hope, I have come full circle, back to my last post, in which I listed my "favorite things." I'd like to start that list over, this time calling it my "Hopes for 2009." Drumroll, please...

1. I hope that settlement is reached swiftly and fairly;
2. I hope that my mom is able to keep her house, and that the Van Dyk's will realize she is only fighting for the interests and protection of her children;
3. I hope that I am enlightened and challenged by the newest educational journey I am about to begin;
4. I hope that Lilly's heart will stop breaking;
5. I hope Lilly knows just how much we love her;
6. I hope that Eric's and my wedding is the ultimate expression of our love and commitment to each other (and also a kick-ass, crazy fun party); and, (some may think this last one most important)
7. I hope that the new season of Lost is as amazing and captivating as its preceding seasons.